Oliver Bair

God, there is a great day coming out here our way.

A new stone landmark has been erected here today.

An edifice to mankind made of marble columns high

With brassy bands, pretty girls, search lights in the sky.

Oliver Bair,

Oliver Bair,

Someday we’re all goin’ there.

A tradition of the finest: reverent, dignified and clean,

And not a morbid, black-gowned mortician to be seen.

Of course, while you’re a-figurin’ what you have to offer,

Ollie’s in his counting house counting out his coffers.

Oliver Bair,

Oliver Bair,

Someday we’re all goin’ there.

There is satin by the poundage, coffins by the dozens.

Conveyer belts are running to carry your cousins,

And it’s full of blooming warmth and perennial attention.

It’s like a hotel lobby during a corpses’ convention.

Oliver Bair,

Oliver Bair,

Someday we’re all goin’ there.

Concerning the illustration (from Wikipedia):

Oliver H. Bair Funeral Home (on left) in Philadelphia. On NRHP since November 14, 1982. At 1818–1820 Chestnut Street in Rittenhouse Square East neighborhood of Center City. Center building 1822 Chestnut was building used by A. J. Reach in his sporting goods business (to my reading of the PSMC sign in front of buildings). The Historical marker here is just visible, sitting sideways between the 2 buildings) Ity reads "Alfred J. Reach (1840-1928) == A pioneer baseball professional. A great early 2nd baseman. Played for Philadelphia Athletics (1865-75). Phillies first owner & President (1883-1902). Published "Official Base Ball Guide". His A.J.Reach and Co., maker of sporting goods, was here." Pennsylvania Historical and Museum Commission 2002


Concerning the poem (from the author):


The historic building in the illustration is not the Funeral Home referenced in the poem. The one described in the poem stood in Upper Darby, Pa. a number of years ago. I cannot locate a photo of it.